'Wedding Customs' A Source of Relatives' Satisfaction?

I was standing in a metro bus on my way to the grandest Shah Alam market of Lahore, when I heard a young girl's voice standing next to me. She was loudly exhibiting her probably friend the reasons of her refusal to go to her male-cousin's future in-laws. Since they're talking very loudly, I along with everyone else, quite unwillingly & unintentionally, started listening to her family story. Her cousin's future in-laws had refused to gift the girls with Joras (clothes), in order to kill a common custom in Pakistan to gifting fancy dresses to the groom's entire family individually & probably because such customs were not affable for the bride's family. So in retaliation, the girls had planned not to attend her cousin's wedding function, because she & her other cousins felt insulted. This is something we're used to hearing from some Aunts in our families. But this was shocking to hear it from a young educated girl this time & I was just wondering why these young girls thought it was a matter of insolence for them to not be gifted on a 3rd persons' wedding. But I knew I had answers of my own questions as I myself was the witness of so many wedding functions where such topics were made highlighted issues & breaking news were on every Aunt or other meddling persons. Not that I didn't know this issue had invited a lot of family fights, but because I was feeling sorry for why this generation was following and continuing with such lame customs. 

What if the dresses they're expecting from bride's family couldn't satisfy their choice? Was that satisfying for them to have a jora which could be cheaper in quality as the bride's family couldn't afford to gift them some quality stuff? This is not the first time such family moods swing to ignore, it's become almost like a major issue during anyone's wedding that your relatives find faults in the wedding functions & during performance of various traditions.  

Another issue which was bothering that young girl in Metro was that the bride's family didn't serve them a large menu of dishes whenever she went to their home. Another hot topic for creating conflicts between the two families that were soon to be relative. Surely this is one of the biggest headache for a young girl's family to feed the guests who bring proposal for her & not once or twice, but until the girl eventually weds & goes to her husband's home. But since it's not realized by groom's family & other relatives, they feel free to backbite.  

I remember when I attended a mehndi function, in which the groom's family & other relatives were sitting in altercation just because the bride's family hadn't invited them to sit on the stage because they were unaware of it. So the groom's family & relatives thought "it's degrading them". In return, the girl's mother was faced with deep embarrassment.  

Similarly when the bride's family couldn't see off Baratis along with some meal for the guests who were staying at the groom's home during his wedding. I mean 'seriously'? Now the bride's family are responsible for the guests staying at groom's home as well?  

Breakfast that come from bride's home the next day of Barat also opens relatives mouths. After holding a huge wedding function, Barat, & then sending some meal for groom's kins, it's not a piece of cake for ordinary families to send a heavy breakfast at groom's home all over again. And when they leave even a fraction in this case, they're to be ready to hear the craps. The more mouths, the more talks. So the more wedding customs, the more one's kins are ready to seek pleasure. So basically, a wedding function has not left only about providing pleasure to a newlyweds, but about satisfying your relatives who just come to join you in your merriment.  

We always talk about burning our money on Mehndi & mayon kind of functions just to show off. But we rarely talk about the ethics and etiquette of attending someone's wedding & about wedding guests Dos and Don'ts. Could we ever satisfy each and everyone of the guests who attended the weddings at our homes? No. But we still try our best to make all the arrangements & functions perfectly done & please our guests as much as we can. It's equally the responsibility of guests to assist parents who're busy in holding such functions. In lieu of doing so, they keep themselves busy in leaving no stone unturned in castigating & upbraiding. But I really feel sorry when the upcoming generation instead of bringing any change in such attitude, pursues the same habits.